This Changes Everything

I've long been a fan of pastor/evangelist/apologist Voddie Baucham. Having heard him preach at several conferences has been a great blessing, and his ability to clearly communicate the truths of the gospel is extraordinary. For many, however, Baucham is a polarizing figure due to his support for family-integrated church ministry. Baucham is a firm believer that the modern church's methodology of breaking down people into age-divided groups (children's ministry, youth ministry) is unhelpful, counter-productive, and without biblical warrant. A couple years ago, I attended a seminar where he explained and argued for the family-integrated approach. My pastor and I came out of the seminar convinced and struck by what he had to say, but wondering how on earth such an approach could be implemented in our modern church culture. I quickly filed it away as a novel but impractical approach and that was that.

Fast forward a couple years. Seeking to find a book that Heather and I could read together as we sought to raise our daughter to know and love God, I picked up Baucham's Family Driven Faith. I can now say that the book has flipped our world upside down. Over the course of the book, Baucham makes the case that Scripture calls parents to be the primary disciplers of their children (which few Christians would dispute) and looks at how that principle affects life at home and how it should impact the ministry of the local church. As he makes the case that the family is the most fundamental, basic, and vital means of discipleship, the conclusion of the final two chapters comes with striking impact - if that is the case, then our modern way of organizing the church is about the most counter-productive way possible to achieve family unity and discipleship.

Hearing an seminar on the idea was one thing, but reading his case fleshed out in the context of the entirety of the Christian life was a game-changer for us. I've spent the past 4 years of my life as a youth pastor, and while I certainly wouldn't say the time was fruitless or wasted, I've begun to seriously reconsider what the most effective way is to reach our communities - both kids and adults - with the gospel message. I don't have the space here to fully flesh out Baucham's case (this article serves as a decent introduction), but I cannot recommend this book to you strongly enough. It has been the single most impactful book for my marriage, family, and minstry in years. Accept or reject them, Baucham's ideas are things that deserve to be considered and thought through. I'm incredibly glad we did.

Watch Yourself, Because Your Kids Are

Zach Neilsen posted this quote from Douglas Wilson on parenting...

“The story of child rearing is almost wholly about imitation. We do good or ill, and the young ones follow in lock step, no matter how much we talk and point elsewhere. They are designed that way…

This inescapable imitation should be listed as a means of growing in grace. Parents often jest about their children being ‘means of sanctification,’ suggesting that child rearing is often a trial. But the situation is much more serious than a passing trial. Given the way children have to imitate parents (or whoever fills that role), one cannot just coast passively, selfishly, like we often do through tough times. Our tiniest daily responses in front of the kids constantly mold and chip away at their persons. Children are a means of sanctification because they are daily adopting their parents’ characters, virtues and vices and all. This is a blessing when we are faithful, but it’s a frightening mirror when we see our own sins growing in them. With kids around, we can’t just move slowly on our own growth. We have to grow in grace for the sake of the kids. If we don’t, then we can become a curse to them and their children.” - Douglas Wilson

Food For Thought

And yes, the pun is intended. As my little girl gets bigger every day (8 months now!), I'm thinking more and more about how to begin to teach her, and other kids I pray God blesses us with, about Christ. Zach Nielsen has posted some practical advice from Mark Driscoll on family Bible study that I found very appealing and interesting, so I pass it along to you.

Step 1. Eat dinner with your entire family regularly.
Step 2. Mom and Dad sit next to one another to lead the family discussion.
Step 3. Open the meal by asking if there is anyone or anything to pray for.
Step 4. Someone opens in prayer and covers any requests. This task should be rotated among family members so that different people take turns learning to pray aloud.
Step 5. Start eating and discuss how everyone’s day went.
Step 6. Have a Bible in front of the parents in a translation that is age-appropriate for the kids’ reading level. Have someone (parent or child) open the Bible, and assign a portion to read aloud while everyone is eating and listening.
Step 7. Parents should note key words and themes in the passage and explain them to the kids on an age-appropriate level.
Step 8. Ask questions about the passage. You may want to begin with having your children summarize what was read—retelling the story or passage outline. Then, ask the following questions: What does this passage teach us about God? What does it say about us or about how God sees us? What does it teach us about our relationships with others?
Step 9. Let the conversation happen naturally, listen carefully to the kids, let them answer the questions, and fill in whatever they miss or lovingly and gently correct whatever they get wrong so as to help them.
Step 10. If the Scriptures convict you of sin, repent as you need to your family, and share appropriately honest parts of your life story so the kids can see Jesus’ work in your life and your need for him too. This demonstrates gospel humility to them.
Step 11. At the end of dinner, ask the kids if they have any questions for you.
Step 12. If you miss a night, or if conversation gets off track, or if your family occasionally just wants to talk about something else, don’t stress—it’s inevitable.

Adapted from “Family Dinner Bible Studies” by Mark Driscoll in Trial: 8 Witnesses from 1 & 2 Peter, a study guide. (Mars Hill Church, 2009), pages 69-70.