Tuesday is a day without an identity. It's not reviled like Monday, gleefully anticipated like Friday, or celebrated like Saturday. It doesn't have a cool name like Wednesday's "humpday," or Sunday's spiritual identity. Let's help Tuesday find itself. Lately, I've been having fun with Blogger's random question feature. So, every Tuesday, I'll take a new question, post my answer here, and ask for yours in the comments. Come on. Tuesday needs you.
Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?
I'll never eat. I'll be too busy writhing on the floor in pain after my tongue rips the fillings out of my teeth.
Posts
It Is We Who Must Be Bent
12 hours ago
4 comments:
I'll just eat foods high in iron. That way I won't need silverware, the food will magically fly into my mouth all on its own! Brilliant!
First, build a cage around your mouth to protect random metal objects from entering uninvited. Second, throw all your food into a food processor, blend well, and slurp with a straw through the cage.
I'm thinking two options: go Asian all the way and only use bamboo chopsticks...or my personal favorite: The Taco Bell Spork!
I would choose a non-ferromagnetic substance such as copper. Over time copper would oxidize and become patina-ed. Then I would just tell people I stole a chunk of the Statue of Liberty. That would impress me.
Post a Comment